Hello, one-hundred

This is my 100Th post.
Pictured it sooner, but due to issues it had to be now.

----Last night.
I cooked clam chowder
Then a dark cloud hovered above me
& I got into depression mode.
out of nowhere.
Usually that would happen less often, but lately it's been frequently.
I can't say what I want to happen, because then I'll seem like a lunatic.
The perception people already have on me.
I cannot change that.
Even if I wanted to.
I can't control the one weather, and act like it's not visible.
And even when I don't mean to show it-it shows.
Even when I want to forget, I just can't.
Everything is better said than done.
& what's done seems better said, only IF you can change it.
I'm in this hole where I can climb in through either or ends and still feel the same exact way.
I cant escape the unrestrained feeling.
Of hurt.